


Potion Power

by RockSunner



Series: Potionate AU series [5]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, Humor, Love Potion/Spell, Multi, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-10 21:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3304535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockSunner/pseuds/RockSunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like the other AU's in the “Potionate” series, this is another way things could have gone wrong at the diner on the day of the Woodstick festival. All characters belong to Alex Hirsch, not me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where is Tambry?

Mabel came out of the kitchen a few seconds after the diner's cook placed Robbie's fry order in front of him. She was about to hide behind the counter to watch the action when she stopped short.

Robbie was alone at the table. She went over to him.

“Robbie, what happened to Tambry?” she asked.

“She just took off,” said Robbie. “This blind date you rigged for me was a bust. I should have known not to trust a Pine.”

He reached for one of the pink-coated fries.

“Don't eat that now!” Mabel warned. “I wanted you to share it with Tambry.”

It was too late. Robbie touched one of the fries, getting the pink potion on his hand.

“Why? What did you put... Woah. Did your whole thing suddenly become a lot more likeable?”

“Oh-oh,” said Mabel.

“It's weird, but I feel like asking you out. Would you wanna maybe get outta here and, I don't know, go kiss in public a lot?”

“No, I wouldn't,” said Mabel. “I'm sorry, but I...”

“The way you were talking a second ago... it's the fries, isn't it? You put something on them to make me feel this way. It was supposed to make Tambry like me, too, wasn't it?”

“Okay, yeah,” said Mabel. “It's love potion. I got it from that Love God rock musician guy who was in here a little while ago. He has magic; he's a real cupid.”

“So now I've fallen for you instead,” said Robbie. “So you owe it to me to complete this by taking some of the potion too, right?”

“I don't think so. I don't owe you that,” said Mabel. “I'm not going to make myself love you against my will.”

“So it was all right to make Tambry love me against her will, but not you?” asked Robbie.

“I'm too young, and you're not my type. I just wanted you to be happy,” said Mabel.

“You can make me happy,” said Robbie. “You'll be happy too, when you love me.”

He picked up a handful of the fries and swiped them at her.

Mabel jumped back, and ran.


	2. Garage War

The circle of friends gathered in Thompson's garage.

“All right, who's ready for the best and most over-priced day of our summer?” asked Wendy.

They all cheered.

Thompson pulled off one of the snacks taped to his body and said, “I brought a baggie of trail mix, and safety whistles, in case we get separated.”

“Ahem-lame,” said Dipper in a cough.

“This kid is a champion,” Lee said.

Nate said, “We're just waiting on Tambry. Can't leave without Tambry.”

Tambry walked in. “Sorry guys, I was delayed by a blind date schemed up by Mabel.”

“A blind date?” asked Wendy.

“Yeah, she tried to set me up with Robbie, of all people,” said Tambry.

“I guess I should have warned you,” said Dipper. “Mabel said finding Robbie a new girlfriend was her new project. She fancies herself as a matchmaker.”

“Me and Robbie? As if,” said Tambry.

“Yeah, as if,” said Nate, with a touch of relief in his voice.

Lee chuckled.

“Poor Mabel,” said Wendy. “She probably won't show her face around us for a few days, out of embarrassment.”

Mabel ran in, panting. “Help! Robbie's... after... me!”

“Maaa-bel!” came Robbie's voice in the distance.

“Watch out! He's got love potion,” said Mabel.

“Love potion? Where would he get that?” asked Wendy.

“No time to explain now, just protect me so he doesn't get it on me,” said Mabel.

Lee, Nate, Wendy, and Dipper formed a human barrier across the garage door. 

“We'll guard you,” said Nate.

“Even though this is probably a joke,” said Lee.

“She's serious. I can tell,” said Dipper.

Tambry and Thompson stood beside Mabel, with Tambry furiously texting a status update. Thompson just looked worried.

Robbie appeared, looking wild-eyed. He was holding the basket of pink-potion-dosed fries.

“Mabel!” Robbie yelled.

Dipper narrowed his eyes. “Robbie, what do you want with my sister?”

Robbie glared at them all. “Out of my way. I have talk to Mabel.”

“No!” said Mabel.

“You'll have to get through us first,” said Nate.

“Yeah,” said Lee.

“Catch!” said Robbie.

He threw some of the fries at Nate and Lee. They stumbled against each other as the fries struck them.

“Sorry, dude,” said Lee. “Hey, wanna hang out together after this?”

“Sure,” said Nate. “That would be awesome.”

Robbie took advantage of this moment to move in and try to breach the line. Dipper slammed him from the side and Wendy kicked the basket of fries out of his hand. A shower of pink fries rained down on Dipper and Wendy, and some slid across the floor of the garage.

Wendy looked at Dipper with new eyes. “You're something special. I said you were too young before, but I was so wrong.”

Dipper looked back at Wendy, “I've hoped for this forever. But we have to save Mabel first.”

But Robbie, using their distraction, slipped past them and picked up a fry from the floor. He headed toward Mabel.

“Prepare to be in love, sweetheart,” said Robbie.

Mabel was desperate. She grabbed up a fry herself, and threw herself into a hug with Tambry, with the fry crushed between them.

“Tambry, kiss me, I'm yours!” Mabel said.

After a puzzled instant, Tambry did.

Robbie touched Mabel with the fry he held, but it was too late. The bond with Tambry was established.

“Why?” asked Robbie. “Why choose her and not me?”

“Because I wanted a choice,” said Mabel. “You were trying to take my will away by force. That's like rape.”

Nate and Lee moved in and grabbed Robbie, one holding each arm.

“Robbie, you've sunk to a new low, trying to molest a twelve-year-old,” said Wendy.

Dipper said, “How did you get hold of love potion, and why did you use it to try to attack my sister?”

“Mabel gave it to me first,” said Robbie.

“What?” said Dipper.

After a long explanation from Mabel, with interruptions by Robbie and Tambry, everything came out.

“Wow,” said Dipper. “What a mess.”

Tambry said, “Mabel, I love you, but we're not going to be together. It's over.”

“What? No! Why?” asked Mabel. “Please Tambry, give me a chance.”

“I can't forgive that you were going to hijack my life and throw me to Robbie. It's fine that you set me up on a blind date with him. I could say no and walk away, and I did. But you planned to take away my free will, just like Robbie was trying to take yours. It scares me you would be that manipulative. Knowing that, I can't be your girlfriend.”

“I-I'm sorry,” said Mabel. “I didn't think about that. I just was sad to see Robbie unhappy.”

“I think you wanted to feel like a great matchmaker,” said Dipper. “That was the biggest deal, wasn't it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” said Mabel, on the brink of tears.

“Thanks for nothing,” said Robbie. 'You should have stayed out of my life. I'd have moved on by myself after a while. Now I'm in love with a twelve-year-old with a god complex.”

“Wendy, I... I can't take advantage of this with you,” said Dipper. “I have to set you free.”

“I know,” said Wendy. “But what are we going to do? My feelings are stuck on you.”

“I'm liking this new feeling,” said Nate. “What about you, Lee?”

“I'd sort of like to go with it,” said Lee.

“I want to get out of it, if there's any way,” said Tambry.

“Me too,” said Robbie.

“Me three,” said Mabel. “Since Tambry doesn't want me. Another failed summer romance.”

“You should have picked me to hug,” said Thompson. “I wouldn't have turned you down.”

“Sorry, Thompson,” said Mabel. “Tambry's hotter.”

Thompson sighed. “I know.”

“So can we go talk to this Love God and get him to fix this?” said Dipper.

“He won't want to help, since I stole the potion from him,” said Mabel. “But he has an anti-love potion we could steal.”

“Let's go for it,” said Dipper. “With all of us working together, it'll be easy.”


	3. Mass Potion Raid

The whole gang sneaked up on the van of the Love God: Mabel, Dipper, Wendy, Thompson, Tambry, and Robbie. (Lee and Nate preferred to stay out of it and just enjoy each other's company.)

"Love God! Sound check for Love God," called a roadie.

The Love God rolled out of the back of the van. "Let's make some miracles happen. Groupies, bed-head me."

Tyler the biker and a woman Mabel didn't know tousled the rock star's hair. He staggered away with them, saying, "The Love God's about to get crazy."

"Now's our chance," said Mabel.

They ran for the open back of the van, where a string of potion bottles had been left behind. Mabel picked them up.

"Let's see... Puppy Love, Love of Country Music – eew. Here it is. Anti-love. To reverse effects of love potion, simply spray on your victim and watch their heart die on the inside."

"Our hearts will die on the inside?" said Dipper. "I don't like the sound of that."

"I'm sure it will be all right," said Mabel. "I'll go first."

"First we need to get away from the van," said Tambry.

But when they turned around, the Love God was standing behind them.

"Hey! You're the one who's been stealing my stuff," he said. "Ugh! I am not loving this."

"I'm sorry," said Mabel. "But I made a mistake and I have to fix it."

"Kid, like I told you, this stuff is way too dangerous. On my oath as a god, I cannot let you... Hey, where did they go?"

The group had scattered. Mabel had the anti-love potion and ran with Dipper and Wendy. Tambry grabbed up Love of Country Music as a decoy and ran with Thompson and Robbie.

They tossed the potions back and forth as the Love God tried to catch up with them. He decided to center his attention on Mabel's group first.

Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy ran onto the stage of the Handlebar Brothers, then escaped by crowd-surfing the audience.

"Thank you!" Mabel called out.

"Ugh, they're touching everything," said Dipper.

"That's what makes it fun," said Wendy.

The Love God followed by crowd surfing too, high-fiving and giving out autographed photos as he went.

"Here we go," said Mabel, attaching a spray-bottle top to the anti-love potion. "One good shot and I'll be fixed."

The Love God flew above them on tiny wings, and landed in front of them. "You leave me no choice. Visions of heartbreak past!"

He threw down three bottles and Mabel was surrounded by the boys she had crushed on that summer: Norman, Mermando, Gabe, the Sev'ral Timez clones, the boy she gave a rigged survey to, and even the image of Alexander Hamilton from the ten-dollar bill. Wendy was also surrounded by a large group of ex-boyfriends.

Wendy punched through some of them. "You think we would fall for that?"

Mabel was temporarily overwhelmed by the love potion magic in the images. "You all want me to marry you?"

Dipper called, "Mabel, it's all fake."

"Just give us the bottle, Mabel," said the false Mermando.

"No!" said Mabel, pushing out of the dream. "Sorry boys, even though the girl I love doesn't want me, the potion has made me realize I like girls more than guys."

But the momentary distraction had been enough. The Love God flew above her and snatched back the bottle.

He landed and said, "Sorry kids, but that's what happens when you mess with a god. Only a greater being from the heavens themselves could possibly stop..."

He stood frozen, as a giant flaming balloon head labeled "I EAT KIDS" descended directly towards him.

Tambry, Thompson, and Robbie converged on the spot where the balloon was going down. They spotted Mabel losing the potion. Robbie tackled the Love God, intent on retrieving the bottle so the gang could get free from unwanted loves. Desperation gave him sufficient strength to shove the Love God out of the way of the crashing balloon.

"You saved me," said the Love God. "You could have let me die, but you saved my life. I owe you one,"

"Let us use the anti-love potion," said Robbie.

"Why would you want to use that? Anyone who takes it will never to be able to love again for the rest of their lives," the Love God asked.

"No!" Mabel said. "Not that. But we got love potion on us by mistake. Robbie loves me but I reject him. I love Tambry but she rejects me. Dipper and Wendy love each other, but they feel like they have to set each other free. We're stuck in a mass love polygon. Isn't there anything else you can do?"

"I have a potion of Redirected Love than can match up people with someone else," said the Love God. "But there are too many of you to sort out before I have to go on stage. So what I'll do is add a few drops of One True Pair formula to it. When each of you gets close to the person they were meant to be with, the formula will kick in and attract you to that person, and them to you."

"How long will it take until we find them?" asked Mabel.

"It may be minutes, or hours, or days," said the Love God. "The surprising thing is, I can sense that some of you are already in the presence of your soul mates and don't know it. This formula will tell you."

He sprayed the potion on them all. "Matches made! Now, if you'll excuse me, the Love God is about to get crazy!"

After the Love God left, Wendy and Dipper looked into each other's eyes.

"Well, what do you know?" said Wendy.

"We were made for each other, after all," said Dipper.

Tambry looked at Thompson. "I always admired the way you sacrificed yourself to keep us together."

Thompson said, "I always admired you from a distance, but I never thought I had a chance."

"See, Thompson?" said Mabel. "You got a good deal after all, even though I didn't hug you. I'm jealous now, but I know my own soul mate will be with me soon."

"Bye, Mabel," said Robbie. "I'm off to look for mine. No hard feelings?"

"It was mostly my fault, though you went pretty far overboard by chasing me like that," said Mabel. "But no hard feelings. I wish you love."

* * *

Robbie wandered the concert grounds aimlessly for an hour, hoping to find his true match.

"You got that hoodie at Edgy on Purpose, didn't you? I recognize the Stitched Heart design."

He turned, and saw an androgenous person, one that Soos had been unable to tell for sure was a young woman or a young man.

"Hi, I'm Robbie. Want to hang out?"

"I'm Doreen," said the other. "I sure do."

Or was it Darren? In the noisy background of the concert Robbie wasn't sure. But it didn't matter to him. He knew he had found love.

* * *

A few days later, there was a knock at the back porch door of the Mystery Shack. Mabel answered it.

A blond young woman in a trench coat, wearing dark glasses and a scarf over her head, was standing on the porch.

"I need to talk to Dipper Pines," said the young woman. "I have a ghost problem and I've heard he has experience dealing with the supernatural."

"Pacifica?" asked Mabel.

"Ssh! I'm in disguise," Pacifica whispered. "It's not good for a Northwest to be seen asking for help at at a low-life dive like this. But I'm desperate. We have to get rid of this ghost before our party tonight, or our reputation will be ruined. Can your brother help?"

Mabel felt a stirring in heart, and she knew.

"I'm sure he can," said Mabel. "But there's one thing I'd like to say first."

"What's that?" asked Pacifica.

Mabel threw herself into a hug with the girl.

"Kiss me Pacifica, I'm yours!"

After a moment of shock, followed by realization, Pacifica did.


End file.
